How Comparing Yourself to Others is Stunting Your Spiritual Growth

HEY! You! Yes, you…have you been comparing yourself to other people lately? Well, STOP IT! There! That’s all I really need to say, so I could just leave it at that!

But, wait… although that’s what I really want to say, and as much as I want to shout STOP IT to you over again, I won’t. Not just because it’s a little rude, and a bit strange, but because forcing you to cease from doing something that’s become habitual out of thin air is far easier said than actually done, right? And how likely are you to actually admit that you compare yourself to another person, or wish that you had what they do right now, or measure your success based on theirs? Don’t worry, I’ll answer that for you – nooooooot very likely.

But ah! How easy it is for us to fall into the trap of comparison! The majority of us face pressures to conform to standards that are mostly unattainable through a combination of social trends, products, and expectations set forth by mankind. With these things always attempting to grasp our attention, it is no wonder that we consequently associate our worth in comparison to our neighbors, friends, and those who are successful in popular media. Moreover, God’s intention for our creation opposes these standards anyway; in consequence, it causes us to become conflicted within ourselves and therefore project it outwardly onto others.

This conflict is very much a spiritual battle, as righteousness and unrighteousness are fighting for our affection – one causes us to love who we were created to be along with those around us, while the other causes us to become confused as we seek affirmation of our identity within others, ultimately coming into more dissatisfaction than we could anticipate. Before we move forward, let’s get something straight – God is not the author of confusion and does not want you to live in such a way that you’re so confused about your identity that you seek it in anything, let alone anyone, besides Him!

It is vital, Rubies, that we are aware of how damaging comparing yourself to another person is to your spiritual walk with the Lord, especially when it becomes the catalyst to unrighteousness, attitudes of envy, low self-worth, and hatred. So, before you go compare yourself to another sister in Christ, picture perfect momma, the woman who seemingly has it all, that person on social media with the super perfect life, or ANYONE besides Jesus, please do me a favor do yourself a HUGE favor and consider the few reasons comparing yourself to others stunts your spiritual growth I’ve outlined for you below first!


The enemy will do anything to separate us from the power of the cross. Not only that, but he knows how precious we are in God’s sight as the ultimate expression of who He is. So, if the enemy can place people in front of you and convince you that they are better because they have something that you don’t, he knows he’s one step closer to fulfilling his goal. Satan’s lies can cause us to find ourselves in predicaments much like the following;

Instead of knowing that you were fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, you think that you’re not good enough.

Instead of knowing that we have been given unique gifts before we were formed in our mother’s womb, you get upset with God that you didn’t receive someone else’s.

Instead of focusing on how you can spend more time with Jesus, you end up focusing your time and energy on what you do or do not have compared to another, and what you can do to change it.

Instead of meditating on the Word and promises of God, you resort to spending time in your own thoughts about why you aren’t good enough, how you wish your life could be like someone else’s, the steps you can take to mimic someone else, the mistakes you’ve made, etc.

Instead of admiring the perfection of Jesus who lived without sin, you end up admiring the fabricated beauty and riches of the world, which merely has an appearance of perfection.

Instead of ensuring your name is known in heaven, you take steps to make your name known throughout the Earth.

Situations such as these demonstrate that Satan is the ultimate deceiver, using tactics to convince believers and nonbelievers alike that we are nothing without stature, fame, beauty, and worldly possessions. Rubies, don’t give in to any other assertion but this; the truth of the matter is, we are nothing without Jesus! Jesus Christ suffered for us and left us an example that we might follow after him as we are called to do (see 1 Peter 2:21); that we might be holy as he is holy (1 Peter 1:16); that if we are to abide in him we will walk as he did (1 John 2:6). Comparing ourselves to others causes us to shift our focus from walking alongside Jesus, which, in turn, robs us of our hope, joy, righteousness, and purpose.


Before Jesus died on the cross for us, he prayed to the Father that we may be one as he and the Father God are one (John 17:21) and this was made possible when Jesus died on the cross for our sake! Yet, there is one thing that can stand in the way of this if we let it…how many of you know that once division takes root in our lives, we cannot be of one mind and spirit?

There are two destructive paths of division that comparison to another leads us down – that of envy, and that of animosity; both paths are of the enemy and ultimately baffle your interconnectedness with the body of Christ and accessing heaven. While envy makes your bones rot (Proverbs 14:30) and animosity of your sister or brother due to jealousy causes disorder (James 3:16), both ensure that the unity amongst believers that Jesus desires is not established.

Do you recall the example Paul gave the Church of Corinth concerning the unity and diversity of the body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27? He describes how there are many members in the body of Christ and that the body cannot function the way it was designed to without each one of its members, where each member has its function and depends on the others. Since we are members of the body of Christ as a whole and individually, there are a few things he wanted to make us aware of that I believe are important to consider when we find ourselves comparing us to each other:

  • You and I are one – We were baptized into the Body of Christ by one Spirit and have been made to drink into one Spirit.
  • God has established you into the body of Christ as He pleased – before you were made in your mother’s womb, He knew you and created you for a specific purpose. If he wanted you to have a certain gift, he would have given it to you. But He did something better; he created your gift specifically for you so that it would fit no one else’s gift box! If we all had the same gifts, we would have no use for each other. We would not make up one body.
  • You are just as integral to the body as anyone else – No matter how great or how small your gift and membership of the body of Christ seems, each is honorable. Where there is suffering from one, there should be suffering from all. Where there is honor with one, there will be rejoicing with all.


Hatred, including hatred of one’s self, cannot exist where God’s love is. Whether or not you are aware of it, you are coming into agreement with hatred of God’s image when you compare yourself to another. God does not hate himself, so if we are God’s creation made in His image, the temple of the living God, His workmanship, His daughters, the ultimate expression of who he is, and fearfully and wonderfully made, tell me…why should we hate ourselves? Why should we question who God created us to be? It is only when we don’t see ourselves as His and ultimately loved by Him, that we question the way we are and doubt the perfection of who we are by comparing ourselves to someone else.

It is only when you operate with a humbled heart that you should consider another more significant than yourself (Philippians 2:3) We cannot have a humbled heart with envy or regret, or bitterness flowing throughout its chambers! It is only when we operate through a lens of deception installed by the enemy that we see ourselves as inferior. Only God’s love can remove this lens, these scales from upon your eyes, that you might see that you were bought with a price into the Lord’s family, that you are oh so loved and cherished by God, and that you are an integral part of the Body of Christ.


I believe that the Lord was onto something when He commanded us in Exodus 20:17 that we shouldn’t covet (i.e. yearn to have, crave, or have your heart set on possessing) our neighbor’s spouse, servants, possessions, or ANYTHING that is our neighbors (Oh, and your neighbors are anyone in your direct and indirect circle of influence such as people you see on popular media, your church family, your colleagues, your family and friends, and…even your own spouse…WHOA!). God doesn’t tell us to do something because He wants to be a dictator, but rather because He desires to protect us as a loving Father. Our Father knows that covetousness leads to all kinds of trouble, including separation from Him.

When we compare ourselves to others, it is much like admiring a home and hating yours because it isn’t like the one you admire. We are only able to see the contents of the outside of the home but have no knowledge about the contents of the inside, the history behind the home, the foundation that the home is built on, nor what takes place within that home. Yet, if we were to open the blinds, evaluate the home’s blueprints, conduct a walk-through of the home, interview its occupants, or soak in the home’s atmosphere, we may quickly change our minds about the levels of admiration we once had for such a place.

For do I now persuade men or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”

Galatians 1:10

You will consistently be met with a lack of fulfillment and profound disappointment with life, yourself, others, and especially your walk with God when comparing yourself to another. We as daughters of the Most High King cannot look horizontally for men to validate who we are when we could be looking vertically to the Kingdom of Heaven from which comes our help! When we abide in Christ, we are complete in Him (see Colossians 2:10) and find ourselves wanting nothing more than Him alone.

So, Rubies, stop looking at other people’s homes to determine how great yours is. With time, you can break the habit of comparison when you make the decision to stop searching for God in other people when you will find Him within yourself. Make examining yourself to test your level of faith serve as your surrogate for comparing yourself to others (see 2 Corinthians 13:5).

Why try to grow from the seeds planted in other believers when there are seeds of anointing, greatness, power, and love already within you just waiting for you to water them!? God is right here in our midst, wanting to help lift us out of this habit of comparison and into the joy that lies in who He is. If you don’t have the strength to water your seeds, He will do the heavy lifting if you ask it of Him. Let Him uphold you with His righteous hand as He reveals His design for your life and waters your seeds of greatness all at once!



Signed and ready to water seeds with you,

For Every Christian Woman Letting Fear Hold Her Back


“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

Isaiah 41:10 KJV




My Dearest Beloved Rubies,


You might have noticed that I haven’t written to you in awhile and that The Rubies Reader has been idle for quite some time now. I’ve had private messages written to me and people sent from the Lord to speak encouraging words to me about my writing to you. There have been gentle and loving whispers, reminders, and visions from the Father himself throughout these months reminding me of the purpose of this blog. As many times as I could have written to you throughout these months…I chose not to. As many encouraging words that came to me, from God, specifically for you…I chose not to write them down. As much as I was given words of praise for the few articles I have written to you that made an impact on becoming the Ruby you already are…I chose to ignore those words. I chose those outcomes because I let fear stop me – for that, I am sorry.

I am sorry that I allowed fear to temporarily cripple me from not only being a blessing to you, my fellow Rubies, but to walk in my own calling as God’s precious Ruby. I had no excuses – no reason to stop writing to you, and every reason to continue expanding The Rubies Reader. I’d imagine that many of you have found yourselves in similar situations, whether you were or were not aware that fear was the culprit of your demise.

You know that thing…. called fear… that creeps into our minds when uncomfortable, overwhelming circumstances enter our lives that we feel we can’t cope with? The fear that convinces us that we can’t do something. Fear…the thing that causes us to think…”I’m just not good enough for someone/something“—“I don’t know how I’ll make it through this“—“ I’m afraid they’ll leave me/hurt me/think of me differently“—“I just don’t have enough _enter what you believe you lack here_” Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you? Perhaps you are experiencing one or more of them at this very moment. Whatever the case may be for you, I’m writing this today because I don’t want you to continue to let fear hold you back like it once did for me.

The truth is, Rubies, fear is preventing us from living up to our truest potential and especially hindering us from doing the very things that God has anointed us to do; this is partially because fear, if not confronted immediately, can cause us to think, feel, and behave in ways that separate us from our blessings and our breakthrough. Not only that, but fear opposes the very presence of God. Oftentimes, we are already aware of this. However, when we are ignorant to the fact that fear is the thief of our purpose, we often try to justify ourselves being held back by presenting our fear as a valid excuse. We have a choice – either we continue to make excuses and let fear cripple us, or, we live our lives continuously letting God remove the fears we encounter on a daily basis.

Why do I keep calling you “RUBIES”? Read the Introduction to the Rubies Reader to find out!

Although I am sorry that I allowed a temporary, fear-based season into my life, I refuse to dwell there. The Lord certainly does not desire for me to dwell in that place of regret, but rather, with Him in His perfect love! And guess what Rubies? He desires the exact same for you! He loves you so much, and He has enough love just for you to last you several lifetimes! Where His love is, there is no room for fear, or doubt, or worry because His love is so plentiful and all-consuming. In order for us to ensure that fear has no place in our lives, we must get acquainted with His perfect love on a regular basis.

We are locked into love with Jesus Christ!

Rubies, know this – fear is a thief assigned to you to destroy the gift that God has placed within you. Furthermore, fear can only break into the centerfolds of our hearts and minds when there isn’t the security system of God’s infinite love installed and continuously updated within our spirits. So, how exactly do we secure the ultimate protection for our spirit? By installing the Truth of Jesus Christ and continuously having our minds renewed (or updated if you will!) by faith, worship, time with the Father, proclaiming His word and promises, and basking in His love!

Even if you, for all intents and purposes, ended up self-sabotaging yourself by opening the door to fear – The Lord will restore whatever fear has taken away from you. Was it time? Did it cost you a few relationships? How about advancement in many areas of your life? Trust in this; that no amount of loss can compare to what our God of Creation is capable of bringing forth in your life from the smallest grain of your faith!

I know that life can be tough. I’m aware that there are various circumstances can be so overbearing to the point in which fear seems to consume your life. Fear is not an easy thing to fight, and we were not created to fight at it alone. Ultimately, if you grasp anything I’ve said here to you today Rubies, my hope is that it’s this; in order to prevent fear from holding you back any longer, you don’t have to “do” anything extraordinary. You don’t have to “be” anyone extraordinary… just reach! You don’t have to do x, y, and z  – attempting to check a bunch of action items off of a list to receive the peace that God has already promised that he freely gives to us. You don’t have to be the perfect Christian, the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect evangelist, the perfect intercessor, or the perfect …whatever… to be overcome by the Lord’s love instead of overcome by fear that comes from a very real adversary to take you further away from the blessings of the cross. Reach for the Father, and you will receive His embrace that fills you with love, understanding, and peace.

Ruby, always remember that your fears coming to an extinction are not bound to you or your situation becoming perfect, but in receiving the perfection of Christ’s love! (See 1 John 4:18 KJV) Until we meet again, I bid you farewell with the following scriptures to challenge any fear that lies within your heart right now. May you meditate on these words and proclaim them by faith!

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

John 14:27 KJV


For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7


Signed with LOVE!

5 Signs That You’re Truly Free In Christ


Listen, my fellow Rubies…allow me to begin by telling you all about a brief moment of mine with the Lord that took place while I was watching a series of online videos a few days ago.

Why on Earth does Jasmine keep calling us “Rubies”?? Click here to find out!

This series of videos involved an infamous life success coach’s stories of healing the lives of many people of diverse backgrounds with their intense, deeply rooted issues. I’m talking about people who came off the street with the worst cases of violence, suicidal ideation, childhood neglect and abuse, infidelity, and even celebrity drama.

I watched video after video for several hours (don’t judge me!) Just as I was thinking to myself “Whoaaaa! This individual can heal anyone’s hurt! Amazing!” I heard the Lord say to me “Daughter, do not be deceived. It is only to whom the Son sets free who is free indeed

Needless to say, I immediately ceased watching the series and haven’t sought out any program, article, story, or social media profile from that person since. No, I didn’t have to do that, but I found it necessary.

If we are to call ourselves Christians and say that we believe that God is all-powerful and one who knows all, why don’t we rely on His wisdom instead of the “expertise” of people that are not, or falsely appear to be, founded in Christ (the only Truth there is)? It is because, somehow, we have been deceived.

You see, this popular individual has the appearance of being a healer by making their clients happy, even for long periods of time.  However, there is a fundamental difference between being made happy, and being set free; true freedom comes through Christ alone, and an overwhelming, sustained joy comes with the package!

Sadly, not many people, including Christians (yikes!), know what true freedom of Christ feels like. Worst of all, some are convinced that they’re already free through Christ when they’re actually living in bondage.

For those who are unsure if they are living in bondage or in freedom, and for those who are curious to see if the freedom of Christ lines up with what they’ve experienced, I’ve put together this list of 5 Signs That You’re Truly Free in Christ below:


You are obedient to Christ because you understand that it is only through Him that you can have live, move, and have your being, and that more abundantly.

You’re not the idolterer. You understand that no man or woman can have two masters because they’ll love one and hate the other; so you hate darkness and the sin that stems from it. Therefore, you do not compromise in your faith.

You understand the importance of repentance, because you are not bound to sin, do not wish to be bound to it, and wish to be holy like your Father in heaven.


No matter the circumstance, no matter the storm, no matter the environment, you are not shaken because the peace of God is ruling in your heart. You have witnessed the truth of God’s Word in your own life; that He knows the thoughts He thinks toward you; thoughts of PEACE, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Therefore, you also carry the peace of knowing that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Anxiety, doubt, and fear may come, but it does not overtake you. Why? Well, there is no place for it when there is the complete peace that comes from Christ alone.


You’re consistently chastised, talked about, looked at with side eyes, treated unfairly, and lied on by others due to your faith, but it has no affect on you.

In fact, you rejoice and are glad when incidents of this nature occur because you remember that Jesus said that you are blessed when you are persecuted for righteousness’s sake!

You would prefer your ways to be pleasing to the Father than to have a positive rapport with men.


You understand that without faith, it is impossible to please God, and that faith without works is dead; therefore, you increase your faith by doing all that you can to become closer to the Father, knowing also that mankind will see your good works and glorify your Father that is in Heaven.

You know that in order for the Lord to increase in you, you must decrease. This means everything within yourself that is unclean cannot dwell where the Lord is, and that some wickedness and uncleanliness cannot be driven out with prayer and the Word of God alone.

You know that fasting will loose the bands of wickedness, undo your heavy burdens, and remove oppression from upon your life.

You may not be a pastor, an evangelist, a prophet, an apostle, or even a teacher, but you are serving the Lord and always abounding in the work of the ministry.

You know the vitality of being planted within a church and fellowship with the saints as you co-labour together with God. You know that there is a strengthening in your faith and a powerful presence of God that accompanies fellowship.


You are not one to compromise your faith on the basis of pleasing someone else’s desires or un

comfortably with hearing the Gospel. You make it very clear that you are a believer in Jesus Christ, and do so in your personal life – not just on social media and before men.

hand-749676Will every believer fulfill 100% of these criteria 100% of the time? Nope.

Do you think I wrote this because the traits above describe me perfectly? Double nope!

Does it mean that you’re a terrible Christian if you don’t fulfill four, three, two, or even…ONE of these criteria the majority of the time?

Guess what? The answer is…


wait for it…


…nope to the tenth power!

Nevertheless, my fellow Rubies, the Lord desires for you to know Him intimately and to understand the extent of the freedom gained by trusting in Him. It is only through His power that you can become COMPLETELY free from all that is keeping you from a deep intimacy with the Lord, from every form of sin, from every transgression, from every iniquity, from every barrier to the blessings God has stored away for you, and from every destructive oppression you’re facing.

“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

John 8:36 KJV

Are you desiring to be set free through the power of Jesus Christ? It will begin right now if you ask it of Him!

In case you don’t quite know how to ask, please allow me to help you. I’ve prepared a sample prayer below that you can say aloud to the Lord in part or in its entirety – it’s up to you!

frog-1672865Freedom Through Jesus Christ Prayer: 

Father in the name of Jesus Christ

I come before you Lord, asking you to come into my heart. Please create a clean heart and renew the right Spirit within me so that there is more than enough room for you. Father, please forgive me for any sins I have committed against your Word and I thank you that you give me the power to overcome my sin. Thank you for the empowering me through your Holy Spirit to resist the devil so he will flee and so that I won’t be a slave to sin. Instead, Lord, show me how to be a slave to righteousness. God, your Word says that whom the Son sets free, is free indeed; I believe and I trust in the power of your Word to set me free from every heavy burden, torment, past hurt, demonic stronghold, trauma, religious spirit, anxiety, doubt, and fearfulness that I am both aware and unaware of. Father I give yout the authority to have your way in my life and remove the things that are preventing me from experiencing the favour, purpose, salvation, and freedom that only lies in you.




Even if you did not feel compelled to pray the prayer above, I hope that this list has blessed you and challenged you to examine yourselves as believers. The freedom that comes through Christ is unlike anything you could ever imagine and you, ruby, deserve to live it! Now, all you must do is walk in it!






Think I missed something important on this list? Let me know by leaving a reply below! I’d love to hear from you!

51 Empowering Scriptures to Conquer Your Weaknesses



Sometimes the pressures of life get the best of us; in such cases, we often end up feeling overwhelmed and helpless. We know that our weaknesses aren’t pretty, so we hide them, suppress them, and often become embarrassed by them only to become frustrated when we figure out that doing these things worsen our situations. Whether you are confronted with an illness, the stresses of life, a lack of boldness in your faith, overbearing temptation, or emotional turmoil, our weaknesses will either become a constructive or a destructive force in our walk with the Lord.

When we need a strength booster, when it seems as though nothing or no one has aided in our strength, and when we need a comfort that we cannot provide in and of ourselves, where better to turn than to the life-giving Word of the Lord? If you’ve had enough of feeling weak and would like to overcome your circumstances, you must know that healing, comfort, strengthening, and salvation comes from the Lord – we cannot persistently overcome our battles alone.

I’ve compiled the following list of scriptures that have helped me during my seasons of weakness and those that I believe will be of great help to you also! Let these passages empower you, uplift you, and enhance your faith journey in Christ!



The following passages may lead to increased levels of the following:

  • spiritual boldness
  • faith in the Almighty God
  • joy
  • worship
  • spiritual, cognitive, emotional, and (possible) physical strength


Here they are…


The Lord is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

Exodus 15:2 KJV

Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of Good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Joshua 1:9 KJV

He will keep the feet of his saints, and the wicked shall be silent in darkness; for by strength shall no man prevail.

1 Samuel 2:9 KJV

…for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Nehemiah 8:10 KJV

I will love thee, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

Psalm 18:1-3 KJV

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:10 KJV

O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.

O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.

Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Psalm 30:2-5 KJV

There is no king saved by the multitude of an host: a mighty man is not delivered by much strength.

Psalm 33:16 KJV

The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and deliver them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.

Psalm 34:17-19 KJV

When thou passeth through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Psalm 43:2 KJV

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble

Psalm 46:1 KJV

My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

Psalm 73:26 KJV

Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the Most High, thy habitation;

There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation

Psalm 91: 9-16 KJV

Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight

Psalm 144:1 KJV

The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.

Proverbs 18:10 KJV

Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength

Isaiah 26:4 KJV

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 KJV

Fear not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 41:10 KJV

For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.

Jeremiah 31:25 KJV

…let the weak say I am strong.

Joel 3:10 KJV

The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. 

Habakkuk 3:19 KJV

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 KJV

And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

Matthew 14:29-31 KJV

Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

Luke 10:19 KJV

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18 KJV

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Romans 8:26 KJV

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

1 Corinthians 10:13 KJV

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 KJV

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 

Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Ephesians 6:10-11 KJV

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Philippians 4:13 KJV

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

…greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world

1 John 4:4 KJV

I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.

Revelation 3:8 KJV

…That’s it!


Now, Rubies, I’d like to hear from you!

Which of these passages touched your heart the most? 

What scriptures aren’t on this list have personally uplifted you during times of weakness?

Leave your comment below!




Weekly Word of Womanhood #1 – Fashioned for a Palace


“…that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace”

Psalm 144:12 KJV


Would it be safe for me to assume that you, daughters of the Most High King, desire to be happy? No matter what stage of life we are in, we will always crave happiness and fulfillment. Our world is well aware of this, and will make it appear that your personal grasp of happiness is trickier than it truly has to be. There are copious “formulas” that are hypothesized to bring about an individual’s happiness and therefore make it difficult to not only to narrow your choices down to one most applicable to yourself, but it also becomes increasingly difficult (and somewhat impossible) to choose one that can accurately be placed into a “one-size-fits-all” category. So … what must we do? Where must we turn when we desire to know God more, but also be happy serving Him? Who do we listen to when people with motivational platforms have nice sounding wisdom, but it’s not based on the Word of God? Should we even listen to any advice that’s not based on the word of God?

Before we confront such questions about discovering our own happiness, there is one thing that we must understand: who you are is directly correlated with how happy you are. The more you’re aware of who you are, the more happiness will dwell with you. Understanding who you are involves understanding what created you, how you were created, the environments that influence you, your gifts, your purpose, and so much more. This week’s Word of Womanhood was drafted to start, or maintain, the process of everlasting happiness by uncovering your purpose as a Woman of GOD – a concept contrary to what most happiness and prosperity theorists, speakers, scientists, and even preachers will falsely claim. If we want to know how to be happy and serve the Lord, we must recognize that a lifetime of happiness comes from serving the Lord. Because lifelong happiness truly comes from knowing who we are in Christ by serving Him, wouldn’t it make sense to be “taught happiness” by someone after God’s own heart instead of someone who doesn’t wholeheartedly identify themselves with God or His Word?

Although flawed, according to the Word of the Lord, King David was a man after God’s own heart. In Psalm 144:12, David illustrates how our identities in Christ, our victories, and our happiness are inter-related. Since we are concerned about our intersecting identities of womanhood and a Christian believer, David helps us understanding our uniqueness in this passage; he asks the Lord to continue to give him victory over his wicked enemies so that “our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace“, ultimately concluding that such a people are a happy people.

pillar-380462Let’s talk briefly about what it means to be a “cornerstone” and “polished after the similitude of a palace“. Cornerstones, which often exist in the form of pillars, are designed to support and beautify a structure. Pillars are foundational structures of palaces and other building structures, varying in form across the globe; some are bright and bold, some are strong and sturdy; some are simple and sophisticated; some have noticeable damage from the elements; some have been repolished over their lifetime, and most are downright majestic.  Cornerstones may be diverse, but they have one thing in common: together, they hold something much greater than themselves.

The same above can be said for you as God’s beloved daughter! You see, the Lord in all of His divine power polishes His daughters in diverse and complex ways. The manner in which we are polished, our shapes, sizes, experiences, sensitivity to our environments, strengths, levels of boldness, and our designs may all differ, but we all hold a few things in common; we have the same Creator (who loves us enough to give us our own flava’!) and our purpose is to uphold a greater kingdom than that which is on the Earth so it might forever be adored. This kingdom, being the Kingdom of Heaven, is upheld alongside Jesus Christ as the Chief cornerstone. Ruby, the Kingdom of Heaven is upheld when you fulfill your purpose in God’s church. There is a life exchange and dependency between the woman and the church as you are a life giver to mankind and to the church, and the church is a life giver within itself.

Do you remember how much Christ cherished His church? He loved it so much, He gave Himself for it. You are worth sacrificing for! After all, with Jesus Christ as chief, you are a cornerstone of a palace greater than any we could ever imagine! Now, ruby…walk with confidence knowing that  you are fashioned for a palace – flaws and all!






– your fellow ruby-

You ARE NOT Your Past!

[url=][img][/img][/url][url=]Broken Chain[/url] by [url=]Andrew Mitchell[/url], on Flickr
Credit: Andrew Mitchell/Flickr

A Quick Story: I used to work at a male re-entry facility. Alright, alright! I used to work at a male prison! Anyhow…

During that time, my duty was to teach residents skills that aided in preventing their recidivism (recidivism is a fancy way of saying “the cycle of returning to prison”). Sadly, the majority of the residents could care less about what I taught (for logical reasons I will not discuss in this post), there were also the fellas who applied what was taught to them and took a genuine interest in becoming better versions of themselves. My heart would become full while witnessing the progressive, positive changes in residents’ behaviors, lifestyle, and attitudes. I’ve heard many stories concerning their mistakes, what brought them to the point of incarceration, their belief systems, relationships, cultures, and backgrounds. However, there was one conversation with a resident that I will never forget; a conversation that resulted in a Denzel-Washington-in-the-Glory-movie-whipping-scene-esque tear flowing down his face. Now, before we go assuming that Jasmine upset him, please allow me to explain!

This man was about to be released from prison after a large number of years. He committed a crime involving his entire family and has fully grown children that he didn’t have the opportunity to raise because of his time served in penitentiaries. We were discussing his upcoming release during a private conversation when my expectation of his eagerness to be free was quickly dismantled by his defeated sigh. He told me, paraphrased, “I’m going to see my friends and my kids who will never look at me the same again. Even though I’ve changed, they will always view me for what I did. They won’t trust me. After all of these years, I still have a hard time forgiving myself.” I responded to him with this, paraphrased, “Don’t let others vision of you cloud your own, because you are not your past! It is not your past mistakes that define you…rather, it is what you learn from them; you have learned how to overcome your past, and that will speak for itself when you go back home to the people you care about“. *insert tear here*

I perceive that many of my fellow rubies need to hear the exact same thing that I told this man. Like this gentleman, we have all become prisoners; perhaps we have never been to prison, but what we do share is becoming prisoners of our minds when we allow our past to define us. My fellow rubies, in order to escape this prison we must hear what the Spirit of the living God says to His church about dwelling in your past. Spoiler Alert: DON’T DO IT!

I know…easier said than done, right? For starters, let’s consider the Word of the Lord in the examples below:


I. You are a new creature in Jesus Christ!

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV

It is important to understand that you are a new creature in Jesus Christ when attempting to tackle the weight of your past. Before finding the salvation and hope that comes after receiving Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, you were a slave to sin and therefore bound by it. After accepting Jesus Christ, we must know that we are no longer slaves to our past – even if we have a hard time forgetting it or forgiving ourselves for it. Healing, deliverance, and peace can now be found in our Lord!


II. Behold…God is doing a new thing!

“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43: 18-19 KJV

In Isaiah 43, God reminds Israel of His infinite, matchless power to dissemble any power they were giving their past in Babylon; He is always doing a new thing and His almighty, all-powerful nature allows creation to flow easily through His hands even in the midst of any trial, tribulation, circumstance, affliction, relationship, etc. If you become caught up in these things, you miss what God is creating in your life. Yet, HE has already overcome the world, your insecurities, your doubts, and everything else that might hinder the manifestations of future blessings…including your past! The Lord desires for you to know that even in times of desperation and chaos, where obstacles may flourish, He will make clear pathways and abundance! Hallelujah!


III. Forget the past! Reach for the future prize!

“Bretheren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind,and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the most high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 2:13-14 KJV

Much like the Apostle Paul, we have a thorn in our flesh – a messenger of Satan that repeatedly strikes us with unbelief, doubt, fear, and defeat; perhaps this is because of the reminders of our past mistakes. Despite all logic, we sometimes have an urge to dwell in our past mistakes, past hurt, past sin, past relationships, past experiences, past church hurts, past …you get my drift here! By doing this, especially if you’re even a little insecure (Like me. Can I be honest?), you are pushing the thorn in deeper – the deeper it goes, the more painful it will become. By doing this, we allow our past to influence and define who we are, who we’re becoming, and the things that are most likely to happen to us; unfortunately, this hinders our Lord from creating a new thing in us.

You see, Paul figured it out! He understood that the calling he had on his life through Jesus Christ far exceeded the mistakes of his past. He understood that the prize of Jesus Christ was worth every effort to pursue wholeheartedly. This magnitude of a revelation came from someone who harshly condemn the early church; someone with an evil reputation much like the residents I would encounter on a regular basis. Imagine that! NO MATTER WHAT you have done, you can still win!

Credit: WhitHaus Marketing/Flickr
Credit: WhitHaus Marketing/Flickr


My fellow ruby, darkness and light cannot dwell together; therefore, DO NOT allow the darkness of your past overshadow the brightness of your future. You are the light of the world even if you do not see it yet! As you can see from God’s Word, there is no use of dwelling on your past if there is a prize that lies ahead! The only time you should dwell on the past is to remember the good things that the Lord has done, and to place the lessons you have learned from your past into action for your present. I have presented you with reasons you are not your past, but God will be the one to bring the increase of you retaining this understanding forever – if you ask it of Him. If you are unsure of what to say, I have prepared a prayer below for you to say aloud!

“I Am Not My Past” Prayer:

Heavenly Father, I thank you today that you are a mighty God in whom nothing is impossible. You said in your Word that if any man be in Christ, they are a new creature; so Lord, I thank you that all my mistakes are passed away and you are creating a new thing in me. Thank you that even in circumstances where I feel overwhelmed with the burden of my mistakes, you will create a river in the desert and a pathway of hope in my mind. Father, teach me how to press toward the mark for the prize of your most high calling in your Son, Jesus Christ, each and every day. Help me to forgive everyone and everything that has hurt me in the past just as you have forgiven me. Lord, I repent for anything I’ve thought, spoken, or acted against your Word so that I may no longer be bound by them. Thank you for allowing your Holy Spirit to empower me to focus on what you’re capable of doing within me rather than any wrong that I’ve done. Thank you for the understanding that I am not my past, but I am your beloved, empowered, faith-focused, and wonderfully made daughter!

In the mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray…AMEN!




– a fellow ruby –

Introducing…the Weekly Word of Womanhood!

Credit: Morguefile User sgarton
Credit: Morguefile User sgarton

Hello Ruby!

It makes my heart glad that you have taken an interest in the Rubies Reader! I will always strive to produce the best content possible in order to help you shine like the Ruby you are! Consequently, this means that I also must strive to help you grow spiritually by illustrating what the Lord has placed upon my heart to share with His beloved Rubies.

Approximately once per week, I will post a Weekly Word of Womanhood that will be rooted in scriptural passages from the Word of God that foster your growth as a believer in Jesus Christ, as a woman, and, of course…will help give you a Proverbs 31:10 shine! Apart from the more general posts on the Rubies Reader, the Weekly Words of Womanhood may involve those of encouragement, words of knowledge, words of understanding, etc.

Until next time..shine bright rubies!




-a fellow ruby-

An Open Letter to the Depressed Christian Woman



Dear Beloved Ruby,

I know that at the time you read this letter, you may not be able to receive the fullness of it, and you might not even believe it. I’m writing this letter to tell you that everything is working together for your good, that you are loved by God, and you are valuable in His sight. Beloved, I know it’s difficult to hear because it feels as if you’re always under a cloud of darkness that makes you feel like you just can’t do anything right. I know how heavy the burden of depression is, and how you might have already come to the point where you can’t effectively fulfill everyday tasks, work a job, have normal conversations, or look people in their eyes because you’re afraid that they will see your pain.

You’re not ready to disclose what you’re going through. You’re convinced that no one will believe you, that they will dismiss your experience altogether, say that there is something wrong with you, claim that you don’t have enough faith, claim that you’re making it up, that you’ve sinned, that you’re not trying, and countless other realistic scenarios – making you feel even worse. As if you don’t feel guilty enough for feeling sad all the time and for isolating yourself from your friends and loved ones, you also have the added guilt of being a believer who is depressed. How ugly. You’ve tried to make the tears go away and call on the name of Jesus, yet the sorrow snatches your breath as you cry out “HELP ME Je-“. There is no breath left. No energy. All you can do now is crawl into bed. You ask yourself, “Am I really a Christian if this is happening to me?”, “Do I really know God?”, “What have I done to deserve this separation from God?”, “Does God even care?”. Or, maybe you believe that God is punishing you. After all, this amount of sadness shouldn’t happen to Christians…right?


You might have become angry with yourself for the inability to make yourself happy…or…make yourself feel anything for that matter.It’s not like you want to cry all the time. It’s not like you want to endure this pain and suffering. It’s not like you want to be unhappy. In fact, you would give anything to be happy. You would give anything to be joyous. You would give anything just to be normal, and you don’t feel normal. You don’t feel anything. Feeling is exhausting. You just wish that this wasn’t happening. It may feel like the only way out is to be out of this world, or to take your own life. But don’t do it…you mustn’t do it beloved!

Everything that you’re being told about this depression somehow being your fault is a lie. Everything that Satan is telling you about yourself is a LIE. You might have even reached the point of suicidal thoughts because the enemy continuously whispers into your ear – “You’ll never be good enough” – “Nobody will care if you die” – “You can’t do anything right” – “Look! Everyone has a great life and God loves them. Too bad that’s not true for you” – “Nobody wants you” – “Nobody loves you” – “God hates you” – “If your God loves you so much, where is he now?” The Lord may seem far, but you can’t hear him because our adversary, the devil, is intentionally shouting these negative thoughts into your mind. I’m here to tell you that Satan is a liar and the Father of them! He hates the fact that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God and will do anything to steal, to kill, and to destroy the hope that lies in Jesus Christ. If you weren’t valuable, beloved, the enemy wouldn’t be attacking you like he is now. He wouldn’t even attempt to destroy your life! He knows that your life is precious, and in order to prevent you from inheriting the abundant life Jesus came on this Earth to give to us, he will have to destroy your true understanding of this. Therefore, DO NOT ever feel guilty for what is happening to you. It’s not your fault, and it is a very real problem.

My fellow ruby, what I need for you to know about your depression is that it is common, it is real, there are remedies, it is no one’s fault (including your own), and it is not just a spiritual problem; it is a problem that involves and manifests itself within the spirit, body, mind, and the soul. You see, we are all subject to the passions and frailty of men; the manner and degree to which we are subject to these frailties have no impact on inheriting the promises that the Lord has gives to his beloved daughters. In fact, in your time of weakness caused by depression, God’s strength is being made perfect! Why, yes, this includes YOU daughter! You, whose mind is being attacked by a thief and claims that you are defined by your past. You are not your past! Our redeemer, Jesus Christ, desires for you to abide with Him and rejoice!

Beloved, you must understand that you cannot get through this alone. Our adversary has drawn you so far into darkness that you will need help to get out, so please stop trying to do it yourself. Stop trying to hide it. I know it’s difficult to think about breaking down and crying in front of someone. It’s the last thing you want to do, but you have to do it. Beloved, you must open yourself up and seek outside help. Yes, there will be people that are going to deny what you feel and make you feel worse. But, beloved, there will also be someone who understands and will be willing to lend an open ear. Even if it isn’t a person, it will be Jesus Christ. Despite what people may tell you, Jesus loves you just the way you are, and it grieves Him to see you in this condition.


Beloved, you are not alone! There are people out there who the enemy is attacking in the same manner and hide it just as well as you do. Do not think that you’re not normal or that nobody would care. There are people that need you and need to hear your story! They need to see God’s glory through your story of redemption and healing. There are people out there that also need to know that they’re not alone and that they can make it through just as you will.

So…get out of your bed! I know it will be hard. Get out of your mind! I understand that this will also be incredibly tough. If you need to go to the doctor in order to recover, so be it. If you have to take medications for awhile to get better, so be it. If you have to go to your pastor or a therapist for counseling, so be it. If you finally have to open up to your family and friends about your depression, so be it. SO BE IT, because, it is better than reaching a point of everlasting regret as a result of creating a permanent solution to a temporary problem (you are probably very tired of hearing this phrase, but there is so much truth to it that you won’t be able to see until a certain point of recovery). SO BE IT, because your life IS precious and you know deep down that the lack of your existence is not the answer. SO BE IT, because you are a precious ruby that needs to shine again! You have been hiding under harsh soil and sediment for far too long.

Original image by By StrangerThanKindness - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0

Beloved, weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. God wants to give you that joy. Beloved, please trust me as I tell you these things; if not, trust the hope that lies in me. Trust the hope of Jesus Christ who does not think of you as a failure or any less than anyone else. Trust that the Most High God, who is the ultimate comforter, and who is close to you when your heart is broken and your spirit is crushed. He desires to take you out of this darkness you’re experiencing that is taking over all of who you are, and He wants to bring you into His marvelous light. Beloved, you will get through this. Your path to recovery is not an overnight process, and it will take some time. Just as faith is a seed that must be planted in order to see its’ harvest, so is your story, your life, and your journey to recovery.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly…remember that God cherishes you, that you can get through this, and to be gentle with yourself.


Signed With Love,



– your fellow ruby, and someone who has been there –


And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt. Hosea 2:15 KJV


Introduction – Welcome to the Rubies Reader!

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 KJV

It's time to shine like the gem that you are!
It’s time to shine like the gem that you are!

Let me preface this introduction by stating this – the Rubies Reader Blog is not for the perfect Christian woman. If you perfectly exemplify all 21 passages describing the characteristics of the Virtuous Woman present in Proverbs 31, the content in this blog will be of no use to you, and I do not wish to waste your time.

On the contrary, the Rubies Reader seeks the Women of God who have issues; those who are insecure; those who are hurt; those who are fearful; those who are on a journey of self-discovery; those who feel like her prayers aren’t the strongest; those who are sick; those who have been abandoned; those who are overwhelmed; those attempting to find the discipline to read her Bible more often; those who are lonely; those who have made countless mistakes; those who are doubtful; those who are lost; those who are selfish; those who are anxious; those who don’t trust easily; those who are unstable; and those who don’t fit into the category of a “perfect” Christian woman.

Most importantly, the Rubies Reader is for the imperfect Christian woman who desires to sharpen, strengthen, and discover her best self during her walk with the Lord. Sound like you might fit these criteria? Well, welcome to the Rubies Reader my sister!

The first step to discovering the best version of yourself as a Christian, a woman, sister, wife, or whatever title you carry during your lifetime, is to gain an understanding of how the Lord sees you; that’s why I’ve decided to name this blog the Rubies Reader. This blog is meant to expose and encourage Christian women for the RUBIES that they are!

To this very day, geologists are unsure of the precise formation process of the ruby; they can only theorize how they are formed, given such a unique set of circumstances; rubies are made out of the minerals Corundum and Chromium – two extremely rare minerals that would have to “find” each other and avoid large amounts of two of the Earth’s most common elements, Silica and Iron, in order to do so. Just as we cannot understand the miracle of a ruby’s production, neither can we understand the work of the Lord in His divine, creative process of molding us into the women He desires. This process often involves affliction, which we often mistake as disqualification from the blessings and favor of the Lord. In reality, this affliction (i.e. the realization of your mistakes, past hurt, insecurity, flaws, etc.) is the refining process that God uses for his Rubies.

You see, according to Proverbs 31:10, the virtuous woman’s value is more precious and exceeds that of a rare gem. If the virtuous woman’s price is above rubies,then this means you already are one! It doesn’t matter how imperfect you believe that you are – what makes you a ruby, woman of God, is how precious you are in God’s sight. You are an awesome miracle filled with vibrant color and beauty. You are a Ruby! Walk with me, Rubies, as we become polished and loved by God forevermore.